Ch.5/ Advocacy as your first act of parenthood
Standing up for yourself is imperative in birth but it starts in pregnancy.
As a birth doula, I am well versed on advocacy – encouraging others to advocate for themselves and sometimes advocating myself. I always tell pregnant people that advocacy is your first act as a parent. Of course, this isn’t always technically true but it’s definitely important and often this starts much earlier in pregnancy than in labor.
So many people having a hospital birth (at least in the US) tell the same story throughout their pregnancy – they go in for their prenatal appointments, wait in the lobby for awhile, finally get put in a room, the doctor rushes in and does an exam, says a bunch of things very quickly, asks if they have any questions and then the meeting’s over. When pregnant people get to the point of the appointment for questions they are often feeling tired from the whole ordeal and not wanting to take the very busy doctor away from their other patients. You have a right to slow down and ask the questions that you need answers to! And I don’t fault the doctors, they’re busy; as you can attest by the full waiting room! But you are their client, you hired them to support your birth. You are entitled to their attention and time so you feel that you are able to ask the questions that have been on your mind.
At the first prenatal meeting I have with my birth doula clients, I give them a long list of questions for their care providers. Now, this isn’t so you can go in and go through the whole list and grill them on every little thing but it gets people thinking about all of the things they have a right to ask and will give them a better idea of how their doctor works overall. This list covers things like their cesarean rates, policies surrounding pushing positions, hospital routines, and more. Basically, these questions are there so you can get a sneak preview of what they will be like in the hospital setting and what kind of care you can expect.
If you feel uncomfortable with asking a ton of questions at your prenatal appointments, you can call the office and ask if you can schedule an additional appointment to go over these questions or if it would be okay to email the questions in and that way your doctor can take their time in answering everything for you. Whichever way works best for you is fine. Birth is extremely intimate and personal. It’s important that you feel supported by your care provider and that they feel like a true member of the birth team.
